How do you measure a journey with another person? Is it the miles you've trekked with them? Is it the concerts you've attended, the shows you've watched, the sunsets you've witnessed, the stars you've held each other beneath?

It is all of these things. And it is none of them.

In fact, it is the care that you bring to each of these moments. It is Alex sitting through another Michael Mann movie because, even if she doesn't always love brooding thrillers, she wants to experience something that James loves. It is the many times James has been dragged to the beach (even though the sun is his mortal enemy) because he wants to watch her picking out shells in the sand, digging for seaglass like a goldminer in the hills of Deadwood.

It is Alex stopping at Orange Julius on the way to Vegas *every time* because James insists: "it's the only one that still uses the original formula; it's not watered down!"

It is James driving his passenger princess for hours because Alex insists: "It's the biggest superbloom in years!" and so we voyage to San Bernardino to find a valley teeming with orange flowers that could not begin to contend with her beauty, but from which she draws joy, and peace, and pretty good Instagram photos.

Put more simply: it is the willingness to be there with the other, the joy we find in each other's world. It is a simple gesture, a kindness, a warm hug after a hard day. It is the ability to laugh in even the worst of times, like when Alex sprained her ankle three miles into The Narrows trail in Zion. Even though it took us hours to get back, with James half-carrying her and fashioning a walking stick out of some driftwood, we could not stop laughing our asses off. Everyone thought we were insane! They are probably correct!

Because that insane amount of fun we have even in hardship and desperation, that is the foundation of this relationship. It is the simple and sustained act of being the best version of ourselves for the other. Showing up, tuning in, and opening an entire world for the other to fill with love.

In a world that so often demands that we cultivate a persona to reach the world, we reach each other not by sending out a fraction of our personality, but showing up as our entire selves, and receiving the other with unyielding joy, compassion, and love.

I have never felt that I could be anything but myself with her.

And I have never felt that I could be anything but myself with him.

I love you. I love you too.